So, I've been bipolar/ trying to get my shit together for some time now. That "time" wasn't fast enough for my "caregiver" aka birthmother. Aside from being a grumpy, moody lil thang, she is also a vindictive bully.
This is what I learned this week:
1. Just because they are family, doesn't mean they HAVE to or even DO CARE. It might just mean they give you a roof over your head, trash your important belongings (in my case, my whole household) to be left to the weather. I would've taken care of it myself if I hadn't been so sick.
up to 70% of elder and disabled/ vulnerable people abuse is doled out by a caregiver. When judging as to whether or not there has been abuse, I've read that caseworkers look for things like
exploitation
disability shaming
willfully denying the client or patient things that they need or just generally making these items hard to get to.
Gaslighting, guilt tripping and
mean joking and other means of controlling the victim like full out ignoring them for days at a time even when important information should have been conveyed: ex) the electric went off and you would need to enter the residence in a different way, the caregiver might refuse to communicate this "small detail" leaving the victim to wonder what else they might have done to bring on more punishment than they were already struggling with.
Being punished in general for things you can't help. Being constantly told you're not trying or that your faking illness for attention. being told you can't do something even though you feel well enough and hopeful enough to try.
Constantly aggravated with the patient no matter what or bouncing back and forth between the sick vs well narrative.
willfully isolating you from care teams connections and support if you don't do what they want.
inferring that you are willfully taking advantage of the caregiver when its the other way around.
telling the patient as well as other people that they are lazy or "feeling to comfortable to try" when in reality they have no idea wat the client has been doing because they go out of their way to avoid the patient at all costs.
nepotism. playing favorites to make the victim feel shame or inadequate.
Going out of their way to be distant, oppositional or cruel. Bullying due to disability and sensory issues and purposefully antagonizing those sensitivities. Music too loud, thinking it's funny when people scare me or (when I've been legitimately triggered, in my case)
Dude, the truth is fucking Wicked.
Stay tuned for more drama.
